Make a martini, don’t forget the olives, or pour yourself a tea, relax and enjoy!
There are no hard and fast rules for keeping a journal. How often you write, how long you spend, and how closely you maintain a regular daily schedule are matters of personal choice and circumstance. Therefore, it is important to find what works for you.
Let me provide nine guidelines that I promote:
1. Having time to journal regularly creates routine and discipline. Keeping a journal is not necessarily about what you write; it is simply about expressing your thoughts to build emotional balance. Find a time of day that feels good to you. Come back at this time as often as possible, even if you think you have nothing to say, are tired, or are not fully awake. Start by simply recording a quote that you remembered or a mantra that you are now using to change. Maybe even a list of things you need to do that day or the next day. The process only requires a starting point. The rest will flow naturally. Everyone needs personal time to process their thinking. Develop emotional intelligence (EQ). Allow yourself, be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to be emotionally balanced.
2. Prepare your space for success. Would you prefer your surroundings to be quiet? Maybe you need hustle and bustle around you. Do you prefer specific music or certain writing materials? I like to have my favorite blanket around me when I think about personal things. I like to write about business matters in a noisy place. I like to write about marketing at McDonald’s smelling like French fries and grease. Where are yours?
3. Develop a centering ritual. By associating the journal with another enjoyable habit, you can strengthen your journal practice and create an atmosphere of self-care. The ritual may include a glass of wine, tea, or coffee. It can be after a phone with someone. You can start with a certain piece of music. Perhaps meditation, deep breathing exercises, or prayer will focus you. I have a list of forms of centering typed and taped to the front of each journal. I go down the list and start with the one that feels good at the moment.
4. Begin with a prompt. Maybe you want to focus on a particular type of personal development change, and a message leads you to that focus faster. Or maybe a general reflection message ignites the spark plugs. For example, “What am I feeling right now?” or “What have you been thinking?” Journalist Anais Nin suggests asking yourself: “What feels alive, warm, or close to you right now?”
5. Write because you know there is great benefit to you in doing so. Don’t let journaling become an obligation or a chore. Allow yourself to give yourself. Be kind and gentle during this process. Let the experience always look like it is possible no matter what spills onto the page. Don’t ask yourself for more than you can give at that moment. It is perfect. If you miss a day or more, accept that journaling, like life, is imperfect and carry on. Start over when you get the chance. Punishing yourself for not keeping a journal won’t help anyone, not even you. No one is rating you. Nobody measures or tracks. Be kind to yourself. Remember, there are no rules.
6. Create a positive feedback loop. As you continue to use the journal as an opportunity to be with you and learn about yourself, you will find that the practice gains momentum on its own. Discovering its hidden depths piques your curiosity and encourages you to continue, creating a positive feedback loop between your conscious and unconscious mind. It opens the gaps that are between space and time. Open creativity, imagination and possibilities.
7. Emphasize the process and not the product. An important purpose of journal writing is simply to express and record your thoughts and feelings. Concentrate on the thought process. Keep the words flowing and stop worrying about the outcome. If your journal is about something specific, read again. Leave room for editing if you like. Be free to cross out words because you changed your mind and found a better one. Allow yourself to cross out paragraphs and rewrite them to mean what you say. This is all part of the thought process. Every time you rewrite your pose, your growth triples. Use your journal as raw material processing for more polished thinking.
8. Learn from their experiences. Set a time to re-read your entries. It’s good to see how much your thinking has grown. Reinforce how you have changed and grown. It’s a wonderful, personal way to pat yourself on the back of life. When you reread your material, look for patterns and correlations. What improved? What was the same? Learning from you is much gentler on self-esteem. Use objectivity to see a new perspective or a retrospective lesson.
Relax, have fun and laugh! Journaling is a reward. Once you start, your journal will become a good friend. It is available whenever you need it. During the day, at night, at home, in the car or in a coffee shop. He is a friend 24/7 and is always willing to love you if you let him.
Your diary loves you just for being you.
