Closet smokers exist for two reasons and two reasons only. The first justification for this peculiar group is that they have made promises to others that they will quit smoking when in reality they have not. In other words, they are being blatantly dishonest about their inability to quit. Some may lie about their cessation to avoid worrying the mother and will probably see this as an acceptable reason to lie. Another defense to smoking in the closet is so that the bad habit does not spread to the children of the family. Another fair reason for cheating perhaps!
The second reason closet smokers exist is out of fear. Perhaps fearful that a parent will shoot himself if he finds out, or a spouse who has lost a family member to smoking might be disgusted by the other half’s disrespect and callousness, let alone the stupidity of to smoke.
Whether you’re a closet smoker out of worry or fear, it’s certainly no fun to smoke in secret! Adults should be able to make ‘legal’ decisions easily and not have to justify their actions to anyone, especially when they are not breaking any laws. All this worry about what other people will think or do, if they find out, is often based on self-centered concern.
If the closet smoker looks a little deeper at his actions, he’ll soon realize that his secret habit of smoking isn’t really out of concern or respect for others, but simply for himself and his own negative self-image! People-pleasing is a character flaw that prevents people from being true to themselves while portraying a false personality to those around them. It is both unnatural and unhealthy!
Closet smokers do nothing to prevent new smokers!
It is somewhat wrong for a smoker to think that smoking in secret is helping prevent future generations from starting the habit. Children will be exposed to smokers all the time, wherever they go. If they are going to smoke, there is little a parent can do to stop them. Teenagers are much more likely to be influenced by their peers than by their parents.
Not smoking around non-smokers out of respect and to reduce your exposure to secondhand smoke is very different from smoking in the shade. Most people in the world probably have more pressing things to worry about than the smoking habits of others, no matter how close they are to the secret smoker.
The closet smokers are The only ones who care about your secret!
One of my sisters had been secretly smoking 30 cigarettes a day for almost 8 long years. She always gave me the evil eye when we would all gather at the parents’ house for a family reunion. “It’s OK for you!” she growled, “You can have a cigarette anytime you want, but I have to sit here gasping!” But the bottom line was that he didn’t have to pant at all! It was she who decided to keep her smoking habit a secret from people. But she gets better, as you’ll see in the remaining paragraphs!
Our little brother’s wedding day had finally arrived. My chain-smoking sister told me the morning of the wedding; “I’m sick of all this secrecy! If that woman (that is, our mother), thinks for one minute that I’m going to go all day without smoking because of her, then you can think again! I’m going to tell her this afternoon that I’ve been smoking for years, and if she doesn’t like it, that’s her problem!”
As soon as we got to the reception hall, sure enough, my dear sister, all red and ready to fight, walked up to our mother and moved her finger within an inch of her face and yelled;
“I have something to tell you! I’ve been smoking in secret for 8 years and I’m not willing to take it anymore, not for you, not for dad, not for anyone! And another thing, I’m going to be smoking at this wedding today, and if I don’t you like it, then strong!”.
Well, if nothing else, it was certainly entertainment for those who got to witness this emotional outburst. However, the response was not as my sister expected. My mother calmly responded by saying:
“Didn’t I know you smoked, dear? I’d prefer you didn’t, of course, but you’re a grown woman now and more than capable of making your own decisions. I’m sorry you thought you needed to.” hide it from me So anyway, we can go ahead and enjoy this wedding, after all, it’s your brother’s day, not ours. Let’s not divert the focus from him and his girlfriend.”
The moral of this story is this: smokers should stop thinking that everyone gives a damn about their habit, because they really don’t! Sure, the world would be a better place without tobacco and all the health problems it causes, but keeping secrets is like telling lies. It’s certainly a dishonest way of life, so why not rein in yourself, expose your superficial secret, and get on with your life? You’ll feel so much better, honestly!
