Social Anxiety Disorder is a condition suffered by many people, characterized by excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Sufferers struggle to develop self-esteem, find it difficult to establish and maintain relationships, and may find their career and recreational options limited. In addition, they persistently fight against a shameful internal feeling of feeling different from others, of being misfits.
Those with the somewhat ironic acronym SAD feel that others are judging them, often to the point of not being able to function. So much time is spent looking inwardly at ‘what’s wrong’ with oneself that it’s easy to miss the signs of what’s going on in the external world.
A person suffering from social anxiety, for example, may walk past an acquaintance and think they see a funny look on the person’s face. They may have negative and destructive thoughts like “I must look stupid with the clothes I’m wearing” or “He/She would never want to spend time with me” or “I know it’s unpleasant to be around me.” “
Instead of turning inward, it can be beneficial to take steps and practice to focus on the external world. Seeing that same acquaintance walk by can be a completely different experience. A person with SAD can train himself to gradually shift his focus to others. For example, reframing the situation with thoughts like “He seems upset, maybe I should ask him if he’s okay” or “Maybe he/she feels nervous sometimes like I do” or “Maybe he/she is having trouble.” a bad day, I wonder what’s going on with them.”
Simply choosing to step outside of yourself can be a welcome distraction from feelings of inner discomfort. Practicing this task can alleviate some anxiety, help SAD sufferers gain a reasonable perception of the world around them, and facilitate the process of developing self-esteem.
A qualified psychotherapist can work with social anxiety patients to develop this skill. The suggested course for SAD is 12 weeks of cognitive behavioral therapy, which may include psychoeducation, lifestyle changes, identifying negative thoughts, and developing helpful thoughts. Developing a gentle and generous inner voice is essential to this work. Establishing a healthy balance of focusing inward with attention to the external world in concert with this work can provide additional coping skills.
