There is good news and some negative news when someone seeks to start saving a marriage after infidelity.
It’s that no matter how ruined the relationship is, it can be fixed, if you want it bad enough.
If there has been forgiveness during recovery from the affair and both husband and wife are fully committed to doing whatever it takes to make it work, then after an affair, things may improve.
Both parties must understand and accept that it will take time and work, and that they must be fully mature to confess some of their own inconveniences.
As you continue reading, remember that the Course in Miracles teaches: “Healing is a sign that you want to heal. And this disposition opens your ears to the Voice of the Holy Spirit, whose message is fullness.”
If both of you are in that place and you really want your recovery from the affair to be positive, you have a great chance of working things out.
Are there overwhelming problems along the way?
The problem is saving a marriage after infidelity, because if the problems are too overwhelming and / or both are not willing to do the work and discover healing options, the chances of repairing a relationship after the infidelity decrease.
– It is not impossible at this point, but it will be much more difficult.
The first step would be to honestly assess where you and your partner are from time to time and where exactly you are going.
If you both have the right mindset and the maturity to deal with concerns and persevere long enough, do some searching for souls and determine.
You will need to seriously consider ‘whether you seek help and healing through perhaps marriage therapy or some form of couples counseling’.
If so, proceed to the next step.
If not, ask yourself why you want to save a marriage after infidelity. Often times, there are times when there is no hope of beginning to mend a broken relationship.
It can be extremely simple to fall into the trap of becoming a doormat if you want to start building trust after cheating without the help of your spouse.
I mean if the spouse feels that the pain is terribly difficult to handle, they will not work with you to begin recovery from the affair.
They could almost certainly also point to sabotaging all the hard work you are trying to do to rebuild trust after the infidelity.
What are the problems?
In a previous conversation, I explored infidelity in marriage and survival of an affair: is leaving a relationship the answer or should you stay?
The next step would be to find out what other problems and issues both of you are dealing with, and exactly what steps to take to begin saving a marriage after infidelity.
– Does it seem that both of you have simply strayed too far?
– Do you now have children and find it more difficult to connect with each other?
When you recognize what problems you are really having, you have a much better chance of handling them effectively and staying married after the infidelity.
– Don’t let life and all its stress and anxiety try to come between you.
Typically this is not the real problem most of the time, and it works well as an excuse for bad habits.
– Determine the genuine problems and then help out on how to survive the infidelity.
Often times, finding someone to help you heal, and to instruct and guide you, helping you figure it all out, can be a miracle.
Finding a marriage counselor or therapist can help.
At the very least, a therapist can function as a sort of referee so that the two of you don’t get too upset and start arguing out of control and saying things that you may later regret.
– If the battle continues, – Nothing will ever be solved.
– You can’t fix anything until you find out exactly what’s broken.
There is no difference between a broken relationship and a worn transmission in your car, by which I mean, if you don’t identify what the problem is, you can’t repair and rebuild your relationship after cheating.
Sometimes there is not enough will and disposition to rebuild trust after infidelity to give a sufficient reason to save a relationship.
If you don’t diagnose exactly what the problem is, you won’t even be able to start saving a marriage after infidelity.
(I also suggest searching the web for more helpful content on getting back with your ex and sure ways to rekindle a relationship, if you feel it in your heart.)
