Before cutting people out of your life completely, first think about how you can achieve a more balanced approach. This includes our bosses and co-workers, brothers and sisters, in-laws; even our own family that we don’t get along with 100% of the time. But even so, we are able to find ways to continue living, working and even loving these people.
There is nothing wrong with distancing yourself from someone while still staying in touch. Given that, it’s not really necessary to completely throw a relationship out the door. Maybe, you just need to redefine it somehow.
Sometimes you can initiate change simply by altering the way you act towards the person by opening a dialogue, or even directly confronting their behavior. Although, these are all worthwhile options, but it still depends on the situation.
Once you decide how you’re going to deal with a toxic relationship, the hardest part is moving on. Often the most manipulative and most likely to resist our success are also the most charismatic. That means that when they perceive what is happening, they can instantly change their behavior in response.
But remember, it can be a seductive plot. As soon as the victim tries to walk away, the abuser changes his act, only to fall back into the old routine once the distance closes again. History repeats itself. I think they do it on purpose and sometimes they just don’t have control over their emotional behavior.
With manipulators in mind, it is ultimately up to you to decide if your change of heart is a genuine effort or not. This requires a retest to see if it worked. You’ll most likely know right away if they’re not, but keep an eye on the situation and realize that if things don’t improve, you may need to completely disengage and let them go.
Confrontation and criticism are often the worst ways to deal with walking away from a relationship. Even if you decide that your life is better without a particularly poisonous person, you don’t really need some kind of awkward, confrontational discussion. They have no obligations to each other, even if they are family.
Excluding these people, when done right, is hardly noticeable. In fact, there will be instances in your life when your decision meets particularly desperate resistance, but that’s just the way life is sometimes. Many people go through life without finding the strength to live up to their life ideals. Just don’t let it get you down too much.
