Have you ever been afraid of something… you know dizzy, sick in the tummy is a little scary?
Can that fear be real or is it just an illusion?
What if you unconsciously created it to keep yourself safe?
Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? I mean how the hell could one create a fear, a depressed state to keep oneself safe.
In truth, it is easier and much more common than anyone would have thought.
Many people use this mechanism as a defensive framework to deal with a past event, trauma or pain, usually in childhood.
So why is it a problem now? Because it is NOT helping anymore.
Now, I’m not talking about the fear of a man-eating shark circling around getting ready to snap your jaws open, though just thinking about it might make you shiver. I’m talking about the things that you know don’t really make any logical sense to scare you, but trigger a horrible FEELING that comes from deep inside.
The psychology of human needs boils down to TWO things:
1. The FEAR of failure because if you fail you will not be good enough
2. The FEAR of NOT being loved
These fears manifest in other forms, such as the fear of starting your own business, speaking in public, or even asking on a date to your heart’s desire.
This thing destroys lives.
So why are we scared? To be honest, this is a huge area to cover in one post, but these quick tips could change your life right now:
Your brain is a filter, a sponge and the best ‘top maker’ all at the same time..
Out of your experiences your perceptions were formed, storing them as emotionally charged memories that you give meaning to and then give meaning to you (these are stored deep in the hippocampus in the brain, more on this in a later post, because knowing what this does could save a marriage, a relationship or help in full recovery from stress).
Some experiences or memories slip away and float around your brain like storm clouds; wreaking havoc when you least expect it or are under stress. Research confirms that this is what happens in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or when we have a blackout.
So why does our brain do this and what can we do about it to lead a resourceful and peaceful life?
It’s all about spending. In this case, energy versus probability to stay safe.
Your brain wants to save energy, it’s a greedy so-and-so. You use about ¼ of all your energy needs for the day.
Memories and emotional links in the emotional part of our brain where our hippocampus is, are linked to a small group of brain cells found in our forehead (these cells cause you to raise your level of consciousness and motivation), they are also linked with our fear center deep in the lower part of our brain.
Imagine you have a railway running from north to south with 3 large stations, one at the top, one in the middle and one at the bottom.
Let’s say the forehead (top) is Leeds, the hippocampus (centre) is Birmingham, and the fear center (bottom) is London.
Messages go up and down these tracks, in and out of these stations at speeds so fast that even Superman would have trouble keeping up.
Depending on the intensity of the message, all or some of the centers will fire:
Now here’s the kicker, the fear center is always on, constantly scanning and looking for threats, even while you’re fast asleep, it’s probably monitoring your dreams too.
Emotionally linked bad messages stimulate the FEAR center to take over and shut us down, they can even push us down the dark hole of depression if overstimulated.
Good emotionally linked messages stimulate the MOTIVATION center and open us up to greater awareness, calmness, opportunities and enjoyment.
Have you ever felt uncomfortable, nervous or tense and you don’t know why?
Your fear center is firing, it could be an external event that you have not consciously noticed or most likely from a bad memory or vice versa. Why did this happened?
Because it saves brain power while doing its number 1 job. TO KEEP YOU SAFE.
The brain is the largest inference machine in the universe. It’s designed to get ahead of the curve, should there be a real threat to your security.
And because getting ahead of the gun has been successful in keeping us alive as a species. So evolution keeps this in our genetic mix.
The brain takes advantage of the new situation that is triggering an emotional response and the memory will also be similar to the bad memory… BUT it may not be, but you still feel scared, restless or nervous while all the time you rationally know this is not makes no sense.
You may have experienced a sense of dread when your boss asked you to make a presentation to the board of directors, speak at a conference, or do something new.
Old associations or best guesses are scanned into our memory, and if they are unpleasant, the fear center causes varying degrees of pain or distress depending on the intensity of the emotionally charged memory.
Most of the time you have no idea this is what is going on, it happens in the subconscious outside of our awareness until it manifests as a feeling or sensation in the body.
THE GOOD NEWS
There are ways to gain control and learn to recognize the sensations that prevent us from letting go and enjoying life.
Given that your rational mind can only process 2000 bits of information per second and the other part of your brain 4 billion per second, it is quite a challenge to gain control of such a powerful processing machine that works faster and is stronger than the rational “I know”. “brain.
However, it is possible. In fact, you can consciously grow more brain cells in your forebrain that give you greater control, heightened awareness, and a resilient brain that works better and stays healthy longer.
In focus attention
Every time you think of something that scares you or makes you feel nervous or nervous, take a deep breath, tell yourself that you are safe (better sit in your favorite chair at home) see yourself safe and relax. Then just watch the scary thought as you would a fluffy cloud moving across the sky, don’t judge it, don’t react to it (you may feel the need to), watch your body, does it tense up somewhere and just sit back and breathe? calmly.
If you are struggling to observe, do this, move ALL of your attention to the sensation of the air traveling through your nostrils as you inhale and exhale deeply but comfortably. Then go back to that fluffy cloud if it’s still there…
Eventually the fear and the thought will fade.
You’ll see; your brain has been making it up and now you have started to control your fear center in a way you didn’t think possible.
This fear is your own perception that is experienced as real, sometimes helpful, but more often than not it hinders your progress and even ruins lives.
It does not have to be this way.
Brain scans show that fear is triggered at least a quarter of a second before you know it. That could be why it feels so real and part of the very essence of who YOU are.
Above all to know yourself and others, know your 3 Brains
