It’s that manic time of year again, that month that suddenly makes your credit card warp from the speed at which it’s gone through half a dozen ATMs… And somehow, they’re left with gifts that are mundane, like vanilla, neither here nor there. We think it’s about time you considered livening up your holiday decorations and wraps, and with Matilda’s Guide to Shopping for Lingerie for Your Lover 101 on hand, there’s no excuse!
Of course, the first thing to remember when buying lingerie for someone special is that it’s not about you. Your credit card and your fantasies may play a part in the purchase, but ultimately, it is your girl who will put on the sexy lingerie. Essentially, she’s a girly girl who loves sugar and spice and all things pink, rubber vinyl and a matching ball gag can land you on the curb with a restraining order in your pocket.
Secret Agent Mission: Find Lingerie
We recommend that you make a note of what you like to wear, what items are your favorites or what lingerie ads interest you, and what sexy lingerie appeals to you. Do you like body-hugging corsets or ruffled wrists?
Cup size crisis? Just venture out to check out the naughty lingerie drawer while the lady is in the shower or check out the size tag while you’re taking off your layers! Though with the best of intentions at heart, many men have struck a raw nerve with their beloved by presenting some raunchy lingerie that was too small or too big. Check then recheck sizes and stay out of the dog crate!
Keep in mind that not all women are one hundred percent proportionate. Just because your girl may be petite on top doesn’t mean things are going the same for her butt! Some ladies, while modest in the bust department, can have a sizeable booty. Nothing kills romantic intentions more than hinting that your love’s butt is even bigger than you thought!
ASTATIC
Thongs, G-strings, Brazilians and shorts, enough to distract a man in no time! But do you know the difference between a thong and a thong? Most importantly, what does your lover prefer? Just ask yourself this: how much of his butt can you normally see? Give it some thought and you will surely find the answer! It is:
Answer 1: Everything – she is a fan of the sexy thong (Lucky you!)
Answer 2: None of that, she likes fuller panties: boys brazilian shorts, ruffled panties.
Answer 3: The ass monster is eating her panties. You have chosen a thong.
BOOBALICIOUS
It’s time to find out if your girl prefers padded, sheer, or bikini-style bras! Take some time to admire (while she makes some mental notes) her support the next time she feels comfortable. Yes, her bra boys, the bra! We’re not talking about admiring the sheer wonder of her cleavage here! If her breasts seem a little larger than you remember from the last time she was naked, chances are she is wearing a padded bra.
Now that you have the sizes and small details under control, it’s time to decide which style best suits your partner. You didn’t think sizes would be the end, did you?
BUSTIERS OR BABYDOLLS? OPTIONS, OPTIONS, OPTIONS!
the hourglass
Features: We’re looking for generous busts and a waist that curves to make way for the entrance of grabbable booty!
Famous Ladies of the Hourglass: Shania Twain, Salma Hayek, Halle Berry and Sandra Bullock and the legendary Marilyn Monroe
What to get her: Bodices will look absolutely gorgeous. Shapely lingerie will accentuate curves in all the right places!
the bolus
Features: We’re looking at an average upper body with a showcase behind.
Famous Bowling Women: Jennifer Lopez, Shakira and Beyoncé
What to buy her: what you are looking for is a doll or a nightgown. This will promote your cleavage and subtly send reminders of an irresistible butt!
the lollipop
Features: The cup overflows! Super busty with a slim waist and average butt.
Famous Lollipop Women: Uma Thurman, Susan Sarandon, and Angelina Jolie
What to get her: A bra set that will dress “the girls” and give the bum a means of joining the candy party.
The spine
Features: All about average! Bust, waist and butt practically aligned! Also known as the most “athletic” figure type.
Famous columnists: Cameron Diaz, Eva Longoria and Maria Sharapova
What to buy her: A camisole set will draw your attention to her main assets by dividing your view of her body into luscious parts…the cutest butt over there and…oh! Take a look at that cheeky bust over there…
The Apple
Features: All the curves! The bust may be average, but we’re dealing with a curvy waist and Rubenesque butt!
Famous Apple Women: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Drew Barrymore and Lorraine Kelly
What to get her: A lingerie dress will make your sweetheart feel confident and accentuate her curves while detracting from her curvy waistline that she might not like!
