Opinions differ on the purpose of lovemaking. At one extreme, sex is seen as something to be endured only for the purpose of reproduction. For others, the purpose of making love is to become one, in the biblical sense. Still others see sex as a biological drive and conquest seems to be the goal.
What is your purpose in making love? You can choose. Is your purpose to shut up your partner? Do you have sex by obligation? Is it an expression of your love for your partner? Are you filling a biological impulse? The purposes for making love will vary from person to person. People may also find that their purpose for making love can vary from experience to experience.
There are a variety of possible purposes for sex; some of them are lofty and even sacred, building relationships where others are basic and destructive. When the purpose becomes the exercise of power or control, sex is not lovemaking. Force, manipulation and coercion are always harmful. It is not possible to force someone to make love to you; Compulsory sex is always a passion killer.
In long-term relationships, there is a chance that couples will lose sight of their lovemaking purposes and sex will become routine as a result. Couples begin to invest less in making love; they withdraw and love each other. Excuses start coming up like she’s too tired, too busy, or just not in the mood. Instead of being vulnerable to each other, they put up walls and get good at avoiding each other.
On the positive side, the purpose of making love can range from a way to express and increase the passion you feel for each other, a way to bond or bring you closer to each other; to a nice sleeping pill, a fun way to burn calories, or a way to comfort each other.
Your purpose and approach to lovemaking will have a big impact on whether it is a positive or negative experience and whether it will make your partner more or less sexually receptive in the future. Negative sexual experiences tend to make people less interested in making love. Making love can bond you, that emotional connection during and snuggling after lovemaking releases the bonding chemical oxytocin in your brains. Oxytocin increases feelings of love and sexual receptivity, greatly improving the chances of future lovemaking.
