For the past few weeks I have heard the same question from my 10 year old son Deston. “When can we go buy my mommy costume?” I’m sure I’m not the only parent hearing that with Halloween just around the corner. Your creative mind is in overdrive. You review your ideas daily, describe how you want it to look, changing what it will become until your final ensemble.
Do you remember when you were little? How exciting was it to choose your costume for Halloween? Your creative mind in dream mode to create the right combination of accessories to create the character you wanted to be. When the trick or treating finally came, he could hardly wait to put on the costume and become someone or something else for the night.
Have you ever worn a costume that didn’t drive you crazy? Maybe someone else chose it for you, or told you what it could or couldn’t be? Self-limiting beliefs can be like a disguise and can come from other people. In reality, limitations are a matter of the mind. Actually, we don’t have any. You can do anything if you decide to do it. Self-limiting beliefs can keep you stuck in a “disguise” that you may not want to be in.
The costumes we wear can be compared to the self-limiting beliefs we live by. Self-limiting beliefs are those things you believe about yourself that place limitations on your abilities. Conscious or unconscious, chosen or not, whatever you create becomes your reality. You become who you think you are. You don’t believe what you see, rather you see what you already believe.
Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can, or if you think you can’t, you’re right!” It all depends on what you believe about yourself.
As a child I was very quiet and reserved at school and even in my early adulthood. Most of my life I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, I thought I was shy and different, not good enough. I always had an inner vision of who I wanted to be, but I felt trapped by the self-limiting beliefs that I had developed.
To give you a picture, (or a character that I dressed up as) I think I felt more like “Piglet” from Winnie the Pooh. I felt shy and shy when it came to expressing what I wanted and who I really wanted to be. I could tell myself all day about my dreams, but telling someone else was very scary. So for many years of my life, I did what others wanted and said was the best for me. I felt insecure about making decisions and was constantly questioning myself. I wondered if I looked good and I always felt like I would never quite fit in. I found myself living someone else’s ideal life and didn’t like who I had become.
I think in my mind, I always wanted to be more like the character of Pippi Longstocking. She was known as the “strongest girl in the world”. He could overcome any challenge and he had fun doing it. He always had a smile and a happy word for everyone, he was smart and bright, and he imposed his own rules on happiness.
I was not aware of my self-limiting beliefs until much later in my life. If I had known it was so simple (I didn’t say easy) to change them, I would have done it sooner! Since then I have made some big changes and I love the results. My life has a whole new look and feel and it all comes from me.
They told me, “act like you, and you are” and it changed everything for me. I started studying real people that I really respected. How they walked, spoke, acted, responded, their thoughts and attitudes, their habits, etc. For example, when I was looking for someone who could teach me unconditional love, I chose Mother Teresa. Many of its qualities make up my “costume” or beliefs that now influence my behaviors and choices.
Cartoon characters give great visual animation, but who do you know or have you read about that inspires you? Maybe it is just one of the qualities that you admire and that you would like to have for yourself. I have many people that I look up to for many different reasons. Character qualities are part of my “costume” today. Here’s the fun that happens as you develop your “costume” or “character,” you become what you think about.
This is no different than choosing your favorite costume for Halloween. Who do you want to become? What qualities would you like to add to what you already are to get what you really want? Perhaps you would like to be more assertive, decisive, creative, or focused. Find people in your life or people you can learn from. Take off the old disguise that may no longer serve you and become someone new.
This is the perfect time of year to think ahead. As I like to say, “vision for the future begins with looking today.” What old costume are you wearing? With 2008 around the corner, who do you want to become? What “disguise” or beliefs will you choose to keep or remove?
I share my story with you in the hope that you will examine any old, self-limiting beliefs you have about yourself and create a new (true) image of yourself. You can remove the self-limiting beliefs (old costumes) that you have lived with for many years. But first you have to identify them. They could be lurking in the back of your mind without your conscience.
It is natural to feel disconnected when beginning this process. Be patient with yourself. Remember that you invented the costume, so you can change it! Talking to a coach gives you more objective feedback and leads to a quicker transition. You are good and creative enough to create the perfect combination of accessories to become who you have always wanted to be! Call me today, there is a “best” you are waiting to come out!
“Within you right now is the power to make things you never dreamed possible. This power will be available to you as soon as you can change your beliefs.” -Maxwell Maltz
