Many women who are in a relationship tend to give too much to their partner. Often too late, they realize that their romantic partner is not afraid of losing them. No, it’s not. If your guy isn’t afraid of losing you, you should sit back and ask yourself why. The quick and easy answer to this is because they are not afraid that you will ever leave them. You’ve made it easy for them. After all, they’ve seen you put up with his countless foolishness, bad behavior and bad manners, so what’s going to hurt you one more time? It’s you who gets hurt, not him. So why should he stop for fear of losing you? Since you haven’t left yet, he doubts you ever will. When you make abnormal behavior acceptable in a relationship, it becomes the norm in your relationship. This is the quickest, quickest, and easiest route to a dysfunctional relationship.
If you want him to be afraid of losing you, you’ll have to stand up for yourself. No one is afraid of a weakling. A strong and empowered woman knows that she has to back up her words (or ultimatum) with actions and punish her with actions. If you don’t mean it, she won’t believe you. If he knows that you are afraid of losing him, no matter what he does to you, how can you expect him to be afraid of losing you? When you show him that you will stay with him, compromising your own respect, dignity, and happiness, why should he be afraid of losing you? It shouldn’t and it won’t!
You want him, or any other man you date or have a relationship with, to have a natural and normal fear that if he makes a serious mistake, he will lose you. But for that to happen, the first time he makes such a serious mistake you have to end things, end them in a believable way, even if you’re just making a point and expecting him to apologize. If it’s not believable, fear goes out the window and you’re scary as a puppy. Think of all the things we fear. Are we afraid of these things because they will make us lose something, hurt us, or kill us? That’s where most fears come from, fear of death, loss or pain, right? If you are the only one who feels pain or loss, why should you expect him to be afraid? Do you think he will be afraid of your tears, your pain or your broken heart? He won’t!
A good place to start working on healthy fears in a relationship is to first examine your own fears. If your fear of losing him is so great that you tolerate his bad behavior without taking a stand, you will never achieve proper balance or mutual respect in the relationship. If you are afraid of risking losing a relationship that is not working, you need to realize why you allow yourself to stay in a relationship where you are not valued or respected. Remember, once they lose respect for you, their feelings will change anyway, it’s only a matter of time. Why? Because you can’t really love what you don’t respect. By tolerating intolerable behavior, you may hold it back longer. But expect the abuse to continue, or get worse, because you’ve taught him that he can do terrible things to you and he won’t lose you. Don’t expect him to feel too guilty either. If his hurt feelings aren’t enough for you to put him first, you can’t expect him to put his feelings first either.
If you want him to be afraid of losing you because he won’t tell you how he feels, then stop telling him your feelings as a first step. If you want him to be afraid of losing you because he doesn’t have time for you, stop spending time with him. If he hasn’t committed to you yet, then certainly don’t act or behave as if you are already committed to him. If you want him to be afraid of losing you if he cheats on you, then if he does, end the relationship immediately and stay quiet for a while. If you want him to be afraid of losing you, then you need to act as if he is losing you when he does things that you find unacceptable.
If the man you love disappears from you out of the blue and then reappears in your life out of the blue, you have to realize that there is a good chance that he will because you showed him that he can and that he can get away with it. . He is not afraid of losing you because he has done it many times and you never moved, found someone else or rejected him. Sure, you may have criticized him for it, but he’s not afraid of your words. He will only be afraid that you will move on or reject him when he comes back. Have you done any of those things? If he hasn’t done it, he’s not shocked that he’s done it over and over again. You have to see how he is not afraid of losing you. Every time you let it happen, you showed him that he can do it again and that he should be afraid of losing you when he does. So your options are to find the courage to face this situation head-on or accept the fact that he will never be afraid of losing you.
It is time to accept certain facts. If you really believe that he can change and that he loves you, then it’s time to put your foot down. If he really can’t change, why keep waiting for a change that may never come? Most people only change when they have to, so shouldn’t you make him HAVE TO? If you’re holding on because you think he doesn’t love you enough to change or doesn’t have it in him, then what are you doing with him anyway? How long should you be unhappy before you realize that being in this relationship makes you unhappy? Do you deserve happiness, either with it or without it? If being with him makes you totally miserable, it’s time you faced your fears of losing him!
Why should you let your fear drive you? Why are you so afraid to demand respect? Why are you afraid to tell him how you want him to treat you? Are you like this with everyone in your life or just with him? If it’s just with him, then you have to wonder why you changed for the worse for someone who treats you worse than anyone else in your life. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t bring out the best in you and instead brings out the worst in you? Until you are strong enough to admit that you can lose him, you will only continue to lose yourself to the point where you no longer recognize the woman you have become.
Not all men will fear losing you. Many men withdraw and abuse women as a way to get rid of them. The problem is that many women just won’t let go and instead hold on tighter than ever. Sometimes we just aren’t valued by the people we love the most, but either way, don’t you want to know the truth or do you just want to waste more and more time living in fantasy land? Just because you believe in fairy tales or miracles doesn’t mean they come true for you.
Keep in mind that standing your ground and creating and enforcing healthy boundaries doesn’t guarantee that he’ll step up. Every relationship is unique, and he may just not be afraid of losing you because he doesn’t care about you or loves you enough to do the right thing. He may enjoy the unhealthy dysfunctional relationship you have and resist any change. We can tell him if he’s going to regret losing it and step up or if he’s going to let it go and find someone else to treat like crap. What you do with that information is entirely up to you.
Fear can keep us from taking the person we love for granted, from stepping out of line, or from doing anything to risk losing the person we love. If only one person in a relationship has that fear, the relationship will always be one-sided. It will never grow, mature or last. It’s time to face your fear of losing a relationship that’s going nowhere. It’s time to create a little fear for the person you love, or it’s just time to let it go and move on to something better.
If he doesn’t value you, or the relationship he shares with you, how can you value yourself? you can’t you won’t Because if you did, you would walk away from this idiot who places so little value on you… So why do you keep valuing the relationship? Why are you so afraid to let it go? It won’t bother him if you let him go anyway, so why are you still holding on to him?
It all boils down to a little bit of fear in a relationship is healthy for the relationship. When both parties have a natural fear of losing out, they respect the relationship and respect each other. When you are the only one in the relationship who is afraid, the fear grows, and so does the neglect and abuse. There is a chance to bring healthy fear back into your relationship before it is too late. You owe it to yourself to find out if it’s really possible and how to improve your relationship.
