There are times in our lives when we sometimes wish we had never said something or when we did an action that we later regret. “If only he had kept his mouth shut or hadn’t done that … Everything would have been fine.”
The decisions we make can get us and others into serious trouble. They can change life. Why do we do it? Not that it always surprises us.
Our partner tells us something in the morning, we respond, they retaliate and respond louder, before we know it, a slander fight is in full swing and when we leave to go to work, we do not leave on good terms, We ran out, closed the door behind us, and drove the car like we were on a race track.
Can you remember the internal dialogue (speaking to ourselves in our mind), still having the discussion in your head, going over it over and over and thinking of even better ways to put your partner in their place?
Wow, we’re not cool! What a great way to treat each other.
In fact, it gets even worse. Let’s develop the scenario …
We will say that the driver of the car is Tony, and that his partner who was left crying is Helen.
Tony, still driving like crazy, finally gets to work and makes himself a cup of coffee to calm himself down. A colleague asks him how he is today and Tony complains about his wife. Surprisingly, a couple of hours later we find Tony laughing and joking with his co-workers and completely forgetting that Helen stayed home crying.
Tony is happy, working away, apparently not a concern in the world.
5 pm and it’s time to go home. Tony says please to his co-workers, with a few laughs as he leaves. Tony gets in his car and heads home, with the radio on and, believe it or not, he’s singing. Then all of a sudden the mood starts to change. It’s as if a dark cloud of depression has clouded Tony’s mind. He begins to reflect on what happened in the morning and reviews the words he and Helen exchanged.
Tony starts driving more erratically, turns off the radio, and curses under his breath.
When they got home, Helen has also returned from work. Tony walks into the house, closes the door, throws his car keys on the table, and goes into the living room to turn on the television. Passing by Helen, who still looks pretty sad. I’m sure Helen hasn’t had a good day.
What has happened?
I’ll stay here with Tony. What have you done? Well, to begin with, he made decisions. When Helen yelled at her in the morning, it could have been because she was frustrated with the things that were going on in their lives at the time. After all, Tony is not the easiest person to live with.
Tony, believe it or not, made a decision, a choice, and not a very good one. He decided to retaliate.
One thing we all have in common is the ability to make decisions. These can be good or bad, but they are an option nonetheless. The only thing lacking sometimes is the wisdom to know which way to go. There are times when we need to stand up for ourselves and others, and it could get heated, but it could be the right decision under the circumstances.
Going back to Tony. What kind of decision do you think he made? Good or bad? Right or wrong?
Tony made a bad decision, not only for his wife, but also for himself. Let’s explain …
If Tony snaps at Helen and maintains his mental disharmony (for lack of a better word), he can set the stage for the day not only for his wife, but for himself as well. But wait; In the middle of the day, Tony laughs and jokes with his coworkers. Okay, he’s not home with his wife, but he’s changed his demeanor. Why? He made a choice. Either unconsciously or deliberately, he changed from his angry mood by reaching a happy one. He made a choice. But wait again; on Tony’s way home, he begins to revert to his morning temper.
Why? Whether unconsciously or deliberately, he made a decision.
I know that sometimes people can be in a bad mood all day and again they decide to do it. There has to come a time when we draw a line in the sand and make a quality decision. And by quality decision, I mean one from which you have decided not to back down.
We all have alternatives to choose from. Tony earlier in the day could have quelled Helen’s anger by making a quality decision to try to understand why Helen is in such a state. And if it’s because of Tony’s attitude, we have to be manly enough to accept it, spread our shoulders, and show Helen the real man she lives with.
When faced with an undesirable situation, step back, evaluate, draw that line in the sand, and decide to make a quality decision not to cross it, but look for an alternative that is a blessing to everyone involved. So won’t it be worth it if you sometimes have an egg on your face?
We can do it? If we can!
