STRESS evokes anger when hope is lost in the moment. Usually, it’s not an isolated problem that turns us inside out in anger.
Most of the anger I suggest is a chaotic accumulation of issues, not a single issue that sends us over the edge of ridiculousness. The problem that apparently breaks the cusp is the straw that breaks the camel’s back: the dromedary is already fully loaded.
The outbursts of anger must be over a profusion of issues that conspire against our peace.
It would be better to stop and ask the simple question: “What could this be?”
Is it that we are upset with our partner or our co-worker or our boss or our child or our mother or father? Or is it that we are frustrated because of the traffic, or because others let us down, or because we are tired or disappointed that our favorite team lost? Could it be the weight of a conflict that cannot be reconciled, or perhaps there is a different weight we carry, like a grievance or haunting disappointment? Perhaps we are anxious or nervous about something that is coming up. Or, is it a combination of these? The latter is more likely, we are concerned with an amalgamation of concerns.
The question is, could it be something else? The mere fact that that is a possibility makes the question compelling. Why would we bother someone else if we weren’t sure they are entirely to blame? However, we annoy others without even knowing what it is that perplexes us deep down. Could it be something else? Of course, it could be.
Just stop, pause, and think, “What could this be?” it is empowering and protective. “What could be behind what I’m feeling here?” In these moments we realize the power of self-awareness.
When anger arises, it is wise to take a step back. The time we take to honestly and humbly explore what is driving our anger is the time we can take to control our emotions to protect ourselves and everyone else.
The most empowering thing we can do with our anger is to ask why. It always hides sadness or fear, fatigue or frustration. The soul seeks to be heard, and if we don’t pay attention to what our soul is saying, our soul will let everyone else know. And great damage can be done.
