He leaves you… hugs you… and then says those simple little words: “But we can still be friends.”
Wanting to keep in touch with your ex after the breakup is natural behavior. After all, you love him, you don’t want to lose him, and you can’t bear the thought of never seeing or talking to him again. So when does he offer to be your friend? It’s a quick and easy transition to make, due to two main factors: one, you’re not completely ending your relationship (just the romantic part), and two, you think that somehow, during your friendship, you’ll be able to get your ex back.
Most women who become friends with an ex-boyfriend are thinking the same thing: “If I can stay friends with my ex, he’ll want me back.” The thought process is logical enough, because if you are always around your ex, he will eventually be able to see how much he misses you and how much he loves you. He’ll remember what it was like to go out with you, and one day you’ll kiss… from there, it’s just a quick jump into the role of boyfriend and girlfriend again. Good? Good!
Well… the sad fact is that it’s actually quite the opposite. The more you see, talk to, and keep in touch with an ex, the more and more you sink into the permanent role of becoming “just friends” with him. Being friends with your ex boyfriend doesn’t make him want you back for one simple reason: he already has you. He can see you, talk to you, email or text you, and in some cases even sleep with you…all without the tag of being a “boyfriend.” This gives him the freedom to do whatever he wants, see other girls and whatever else his little heart desires while you sit miserably waiting for the day he wakes up and realizes that he wants to call you his own again. bride.
But it’s not all bad news, because there’s actually a silver lining to your ex wanting to keep in touch. When your ex wants to be friends with you, it’s a big indication that he’s not completely over your relationship yet. There is something in you that still loves and doesn’t want to be without it. For that very reason, he offered to remain a colleague… in case he decides to change his mind.
“So I’ll wait for my ex. He’ll want me back eventually if I can be patient, right?”
Well yes and no. Your ex-boyfriend will accept you when the following two things happen: he misses you and he needs you again. In fact, you can speed up this process by making yourself LESS short, by making your ex miss you. The more you are available, the less he will need you in his life. In fact, in the rush to win your boyfriend back, you may even be confronting him too much. Do this and you will pull it from the inside out.
When all is said and done, being friends with your ex boyfriend can prolong the breakup. For this reason, you should decline your ex’s offer to be friends and remove yourself from the situation for a while. Let the break up sink in…for him, not for you. When your ex gets a taste of life without you, that’s when he’ll discover that you might not be as attractive to him. This is also when he will need you again… and he will catch up with you at a time when you are not there. This is one of the best ways to get your ex boyfriend to call you, making him miss you to the point where he needs to contact you to feel like you are not leaving.
There are some great techniques for getting your boyfriend back when he just wants to be friends, and the sooner you learn them, the better your chances of making up. Only by following a step-by-step plan can you guarantee success in winning him back as more than just a friend, but also a boyfriend.
