Excited, anxious, nervous, and overwhelmed are just a few of my feelings that I had when I published my first blog.
Those who know me would say that this is “normal” for Ponn, who is very hyperactive. I often refer openly and proudly to “Psycho Ponn”. It’s a good thing, most of the time.
As I reflect on what I consider to be the best and worst year of my life, I pray that no one has to endure the physical and emotional pain that I experienced (and continue to experience) due to a freak accident. On the other hand, I am ready to share the joy, peace and inner love, what I call my female empowerment with the whole world.
On July 10, 2004, I was innocently entering traffic with the permission of my green light. A desperate mother who was late for her daughter’s Chuck E Cheese party was running straight at me. All I can remember is having a glimpse of his eyes. Then in milliseconds the faces of my husband and 3 girls (then 4, 3 and 1 years old) appeared before me.
Outbreak!
Surprisingly, I opened my eyes to life.
I believe that this accident was a divine act of God because I no longer remember pressing the accelerator to grace myself with life. My car was wrecked.
Like a typical mom, she was too overworked, too exhausted, too committed, above all. I put everyone (especially my family and my work) ahead of my own health and well-being. I never got a good night’s sleep and I rarely ate hot food because I was always running around trying to please everyone and make everything perfect.
I was a perfectionist in the worst way. I discovered that the pressures never came from my family or work … it was all mine! I built images of what was considered perfect.
During the three months that I was unable to cook, clean, wash, or drive, my family and my job lived perfectly well without me. Of course, everyone made sacrifices, but no one died or even came close to it. In reality, the life I was living was killing me.
Thank goodness for this accident.
Why do we, as women, do this to ourselves? Why do we feel guilty when we place our own happiness and well-being over our children and husbands? Hint: we do it to ourselves. And it’s time to stop!
I noticed that peace came into our house when I was lying in bed day after day. I noticed that happiness filled the air when his mom was finally able to laugh and hug again.
Women have an incredible ability to create the atmosphere around them, so it’s time to live a happy and healthy life with them too.
Humbled by this great gift of life, I find it ironic that I am pondering the meaning of my own birth name: Ponn = God’s gift (of life).
May we, as women, always praise God for the gift of our lives. We must stop the abuse and time to take care of our own lives now.
PS To the Psycho-Mom who hit me, I am grateful for all these lessons that I learned. I pray that you, too, have won from this accident.
(c) 2005 Ponn M. Sabra, MPH
