I’m sure you would announce to the whole world that your parents are fine. Your childhood was normal and happy in your life. But this is something opposite. That’s why you’re here, and you’re reading my point of view on this matter.
You still want to go back to your state of denial that you have a “normal healthy family.” But there’s a little red light in your mind that whispers something else.
Domestic abuse means hopelessness.
As parents try to raise their children, they cover up their fundamental problems. It prevents them from doing it or at least in a normal, healthy way and without many problems.
In other words, your intentions are optimistic at first. There is a problem when you hold onto your emotional trauma for too long. Then you are full of limitations, helplessness, pain and anger.
Therefore, this state of mind cannot last long without any explosion. So life is troublesome in many ways. One day those unhappy parents decide to have children. What they do to cover their emptiness, it’s a matter of time before the real drama and the problem begin to happen.
Children are innocent and sensitive from the very beginning. What bothers parents, children accept as their problem. Parents can burden them with their beliefs and negativity from the start.
Abuse begins when children are the main trigger for the parent’s unresolved problem. Children can reminisce about their past family drama. What we do not like in others is a mirror of our characteristics that we do not like.
Let’s be honest: growing kids is hard work. It requires patience, a high level of empathy and respect for their lives. A parent may deal with anxiety, depression, or a substance overdose. He transforms them into abusers in a matter of time.
There is yelling, control, punishment, harassment or even inappropriate behavior such as sexual abuse. These are one of the few problems that children face.
The ridiculous thing is that everything happens on a deep unconscious level. It’s like a hypnotic trance, not really understanding what’s going on. It is like possession by an entity and the inability to control one’s mind and behavior.
Those people don’t want to improve their parenting skills and personality to fail. They did nothing but destroy the lives of their children.
As an adult, you may feel that something was wrong in the past. You mislead the idea that everything was fine. When you finally realize the truth, the shock is overwhelming.
Did my parents abuse me? No! They are such good people. He is my father and mother, and I must love my family.
This shock is confusing what to believe. You still had good times with your parents. There are happy memories and some bad ones.
When the constant abuse happened, everything was mixed with something positive. It is the cycle of violence. One week the abuser is nasty and hurtful, but the other week he is charming and tries to show you so-called “love.”
This cycle can occur over and over again. It confuses small children. They don’t see the difference between love and pain at this point, so they accept violence.
The first good step in overcoming your past problems is to acknowledge that your parents are not doing well. This shock is paralyzing, freezing and terrifying. But it is crucial to understand his abusive past.
Then you can be free, resilient and independent to create the life you always wanted to have.