Sex education: it’s more than putting condoms on bananas.
Let’s start with the top 10 reasons why ought have sex before marriage
1. If you feel good.
2. It gives you a chance to test someone out without committing yourself to a relationship.
3. You can learn to be a better lover.
4. You can brag to your friends.
5. You will be more popular.
6. It is a sign that you are older.
7. Everyone is doing it.
8. There is no apparent risk.
9. Your parents don’t need to know.
10. You will feel loved.
Sounds like great advice, doesn’t it?
But what if I said that those are the exact same reasons why you should No have sex before marriage?
1. If it feels good, at a price. Have you ever noticed that every pleasure comes with a price tag? Eating sweets can cause weight gain. Drinking alcohol can cause drunkenness. Using drugs can get you arrested. What is the price of having sex before marriage?
2. It gives you a chance to test someone out without committing yourself to a relationship. Do you want to have sex with someone who is just testing you to see if you are good enough?
3. You can learn to be a better lover to someone else. Essentially, by definition, this is using a person you don’t really love for the theoretical benefit of someone you might love in the future. Even if you can learn something about the sexual act, since you are not practicing true love, this cannot make you a better lover.
4. You can brag to your friends. People brag about things and accomplishments, not how much someone loves them. Do your friends brag about how much their parents love them? Showing off is about yourself, not the person you love.
5. You will be more popular, but with whom? The other guys who want to have an affair? The other girls who want to show off?
6. It is a sign that you are an adult and therefore responsible for your actions. If you get pregnant, that’s your baby. If you get an STD, it’s your body that will be hurt.
7. Everyone is doing it. If everyone is doing it, then there is no leader, just a mindless pack. Do you want to follow someone who has no idea where they are going?
8. There is no apparent risk. But what about the hidden risks? People still get pregnant using condoms. They still contract sexually transmitted diseases. They still suffer anguish, rejection, loneliness. Are you sure enough of the outcome to take a chance?
9. Your parents don’t need to know. Most likely, your parents love you more than anyone in the world. Chances are you love them too. Do you want to be in the position to lie to them? How do you feel when someone lies to you?
10. You will feel loved. It’s just that. you will do it feel loved, but you will not be. Someone who really loves you will respect you and wait for you. Saying no to sex is a proof of love itself. If someone says you don’t love them unless you have sex with them, that’s proof enough that they don’t really love you. And doesn’t this sound like your partner wants to be loved, rather than offer love? Don’t you want someone to love you back?
As a doctor, I’d rather prescribe wisdom than birth control pills or STD treatment. Do yourself a favor and think twice before offering your precious body to someone who might just be looking for a moment of pleasure.
Copyright 2010 Cynthia J. Koelker, MD
